“Gaslighting” is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists, to make others doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity. In the context of a narcissistic personality type, gaslighting may involve the narcissist distorting reality, denying their own actions, or belittling the experiences and feelings of others to maintain control and power over them.
This can lead the victim to question their own reality and become increasingly dependent on the narcissist for validation and approval.
Here are some examples of what they may say:
- “You’re just being paranoid.”
- “I never said that. You must be remembering it wrong.”
- “You’re too sensitive. It was just a joke.”
- “You’re overreacting. It’s not that big of a deal.”
- “You’re imagining things. That never happened.”
- “You’re crazy if you think I would do something like that.”
- “You’re just trying to make me feel guilty.”
- “You’re so insecure. Why do you always doubt me?”
- “You’re just trying to cause trouble. Everything is fine.”
- “You’re imagining things. That’s not how it happened.”
- “You’re always blaming me for everything. Can’t you see you’re the one causing the issues?”
- “You’re so ungrateful. After everything I’ve done for you, you’re still not satisfied.”
Notice how the narcissist never takes responsibility for what they said or did.
The Solution: Stand in your truth, internally validating your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Don’t argue because you won’t win. Walk away, understanding for yourself what happened. If you need to, journal it out to help you gain clarity.
As you learn to understand and see the pattern, the gaslighting will no longer work against you.