Breaking free from toxic family cycles is essential for healing and personal growth. Trauma affects our nervous system, leading to overwhelming emotions that we often try to suppress. However, emotional suppression only buries the pain deeper, causing long-term harm.
Understanding Emotional Suppression
Hurt people hurt people. When we experience trauma, our nervous system goes into overwhelm. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, so we try to escape the pain. We suppress it, avoid it, and bury it deep down inside – tucking it away in the dark cavern of our internal self, where it can’t be seen.
The Impact of Unprocessed Trauma
Our mind thinks this will work, but it’s just an avoidance strategy. This type of emotional suppression cannot be denied. It will remain stuck within our emotional body until it can be felt and processed. But most of us were never taught how to process difficult emotions; we were taught to avoid them.
As we live from the pain of past trauma, we will fight like hell to defend and protect it. It gives us a sense of control – the control we lacked when we experienced the trauma. Unfortunately, we tend to learn these behaviors in early childhood, from our families of origin.
Consequences of Holding Unexpressed Trauma
The result of holding unexpressed trauma will sabotage your life. You’ll subconsciously create imaginary situations where you’re the victim, projecting your trauma onto yourself and your relationships. This will happen over and over again – until one day you wake up and can’t figure out why you’re so unhappy.
Breaking the Cycle for Future Generations
Our family unit is supposed to be our safe haven. If it’s filled with hurt people hurting people, it cannot provide the safety and security we need to be healthy and to develop healthy relationships. Unless we start to understand and unwind these toxic patterns, they will continue on.
Empowering Mothers to Heal
As mothers, we’re in a unique position to do this work. We heal our own traumas by expressing our truth, honoring our emotions, and creating boundaries that protect us. We don’t allow people into our lives who are abusive, toxic, manipulative, and deplete our energy. If our family members are toxic, we develop strategies to protect ourselves and our kids.
Healing for a Healthier Future
By healing ourselves, we can prevent these cycles from repeating in the generations to come. We learn to create safe spaces for ourselves and our children, and break free from the toxic cycles that have plagued our families for generations.
If you’re a highly sensitive, empathic mom who’s ready to do this deep family healing after divorcing a toxic, emotionally abusive narcissist – reach out and let me know how I can help!